From the Chaplain – “10 Habits to Strengthen a Parent-Child Relationship”

Dear Parents and Caregivers,

I trust the term is going well.

Let’s continue with the 10 Habits to Strengthen a Parent-Child Relationship:

  1. Connect before transitions.

Kids have a hard time transitioning from one thing to another. They need us to “co-regulate” them through those moments when they really don’t want to give up what they’re doing to move onto something we want them to do. If you look him in the eye, use his name, connect with him, and then get him giggling, you’ll give him a bridge to manage himself through a tough transition.

  1. Make time for one on one time.

Do whatever you need to do to schedule 15 minutes with each child, separately, every day. Alternate doing what your child wants and doing what you want during that time. On her days, just pour your love into her while you follow her lead. On your days resist the urge to structure the time with activities. Instead, try any physical activity or game that gets her laughing.

  1. Welcome emotion.

Sure, it’s inconvenient. But your child needs to express his emotions or they’ll drive his behaviour. Besides, this is an opportunity to help your child heal those upsets, which will bring you closer. So summon up all your compassion, don’t let the anger trigger you, and welcome the tears and fears that always hide behind the anger. Remember that you’re the one he trusts enough to cry with, and breathe your way through it. Just acknowledge all those feelings and offer understanding of the pain. That creates safety, so he can move through those emotions and back into connection, Afterwards, he’ll feel more relaxed, cooperative, and closer to you. (Yes, this is really, really hard. Regulating our own emotions in the face of our child’s upset is one of the hardest parts of parenting. But that doesn’t mean we’re excused from trying.)

I’ll leave it at that for this week, there is so much we can “chew” on from these 3 habits.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if a need arises. 

Take care,

Chevonne

Did you know:

  • Boredom encourages imagination and creativity
  • Children who spend more time playing outside have a reduced risk of becoming myopic.
  • Studies have shown that if a kid watches more than 3 hours of videos or TV programs a day, they may have a greater chance of emotional, relationship, and conduct problems when they reach 7 years of age.